As the saying goes, nice guys finish last. And to an extent it’s true; except it’s not in the way you would think. When we are kind to to everyone else, we often forget about ourselves, and thus leave ourselves behind. Are you staying in a job you hate out of courtesy? Or are you trapped in relationship because you’re terrified of hurting the other person? Either way, take it from me, you’re not doing anyone any favours.
It comes down to the nice/honesty scale. All of us are inclined to a particular axis – however, different situations call for a different approach. Sometimes, kindness must forgo honesty, especially when white lies are the way to sooth someones pain. However, from my personal experience, nine times out of ten, honesty in the best policy.
A few years ago I stayed with someone because, at the time, I thought it was the best thing for them. For months I toyed with different break up strategies, ones that would minimise the impact. Yet each week something would stop me. However (and thankfully), after a few months of this, they broke up with me. The funny part was they blamed me for holding them back. By attempting to do right by someone else, and going against my own wishes, it negatively impacted us both. If I’d been honest, it would have spared us both a lot of time.
So to who those hate your work, quit; your day job is someone’s dream job. If someone is extremely interested in you and you don’t feel the same way- tell him or her. Until they get an honest answer there will always be a shred of hope. Niceness is a lovely and waning quality, however in many cases, it gets you nowhere.