Pedaling the Third Wheel

It has recently come to my attention that at least half my friends are now in relationships. To give you some idea my oldest friend, who once avoided dating like the plague, has recently caught the attention of a lovely young man, whilst friends from high school have been in yearlong relationships. Before you get the wrong idea this post is no pity party, I’m happiest when my Facebook status is single. Rather it’s about how to successfully third-wheel through your friends’ relationship (without getting in their way).

The third-wheel is usually viewed with pity, but let’s turn this myth around. Firstly, being the third wheel makes going out more pleasant. When you are out with your girl friends, men feel that it’s their duty to drool and smother you with their sweaty, slimy bodies. However, when you add a guy to the group, it becomes a natural repellent against pesky perverts. So not only do you feel safer, you’re friends boyfriend also feels included in the group.

Second and perhaps the most important thing, collaborate rather than crash. In recent events I’ve been invited to what was meant to be a couples weekend away. As a result I’ve become absolutely paranoid about stepping into their couple zone. The zone (as I like to call it) is the place where couples retreat into themselves and have their sickeningly, albeit sweet moments. You know when the world supposedly stops and they get lost in each others eyes. So, after being around several couples I’ve developed the zone radar. When you sense one of those moments is on the horizon, politely excuse yourself, and get out of there. Couples, like anyone get tired of one another and occasionally need a buffer like you to spice up and revitalize conversation. Contribute your piece, have fun, and learn to detect when your services are no longer required (so you don’t overstay your welcome).

Ultimately the time will come when your best friend will have a difficult time dividing her time between you and her man. So to spare her from choosing have the occasional meal with both her and her prospective suitor. To do this successfully involves part three of being a successful third wheel – establish a friendship with your friend’s significant other. In some cases this won’t be possible as personality clashes are natural, but wherever possible try your best. Otherwise you will spend the entire time competing for your friends attention.

Part three, leads us nicely into part four; be selective about the events you go to. Some things are just too coupley for even the most certified of third wheels. Road trips, movie dates and anniversaries are just some of the exclusions you should be wary of.

Overall, your friends’ being in relationships can be very positive for us singles. It opens up new avenues for friendships, new social circles and new experiences. So put the pedal to the metal and embrace being the third wheel.

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