Four Roles That All Girls Play

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First, the victim. Thanks to superhero flicks with Lois Lane and Superman, girls have reached the consensus that men love a damsel in distress. It may be true for some, but for those of us who know you’re perfectly capable of standing on your own two feet, find it painful to watch.

Second, playing dumb. The fact is; dumb girls might be pretty, but they aren’t witty. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather come home to someone that makes me laugh rather than an Abercrombie & Fitch model. So, if you’re smart, show it off. Intelligence is an asset, not a liability.

Third, the fake drunk. If you’re legitimately unable to stand or desperately hungover, I’ll be the first one to raise a hand and help you out. BUT! For the love of God, don’t have one vodka shot and start pole dancing and prying for attention of the opposite sex.

Fourth, the try hard-hipster. These are the girls that lace their foreheads in flower crowns and follow the herd to music festivals without clue about who is actually playing. Don’t pretend to love bands that you’ve never heard of! Those of us who actually do like them missed out on tickets because of you. If you like the Top 40 over Triple J’s Hottest 100, that’s perfectly okay. Doesn’t make you any less of person.

So, go and fetch your authentic self out of the trash and stop pretending. We’re all better off that way.

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