The Quarter Life Crisis


Most middle aged humans greet their fifties with a crisis, like spending their retirement fund on a vintage car. But what about us, the struggling youth? I don’t know about you but since turning twenty my life is stocked with recurring crises. So, here are the Top Five, irrefutable signs that you are amidst a quarter life crisis.

  1. A constant state of daydreaming – whether it be travel or doing something reckless. This is a sign that you are deeply dissatisfied with your current situation. Definitely time to make a change.
  2. Your paralysing fear of failure and indecisiveness. Picture this. You’re half way through your degree and switching into your seventh major. You’re worried that this will be a micro-representation of what your life will be like – constantly hopping from one un-enjoyable task to the next and failing repeatedly. Soon you could be an irretrievable fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ. Can I go back to childhood please?
  3. Constant comparisons. Whether this is against your wildly successful friends or to where your parents were at your age. Everyone seems to have their lives together – they’re travelling extensively, are in serious relationships and nearing the end of their degree. Instead of this, you’re still sleeping until noon, have zero career prospects and have overtime acquired some serious intimacy issues.
  4. You’re bored of your friends. This often happens when the drinking and endless nights out begin. The process of waking up hung over and having my feet riddled in blisters from my skyscraper heels became rapidly tedious. Nowadays a night in by myself is very tempting.
  5. You fantasise about going back in time and punching your former high school know-it-all self. When nothing is going according to plan, there is nobody else I would rather reunite with. Given the chance I would do some serious physical harm. That stupid, delusional bitch.40356

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